Sanvi had this outburst a couple of days ago saying "You are not fun at all like Daddy!. You are boring and too serious!". Well, if only she knew how much I did laugh all my life. She made me wonder, am I losing my joie de vivre and showing the kids the fun side being too absorbed with responsibility and this dread for what the future holds for us? I don't want them to grow up with the serious side of me (which I never knew I had!!). I don't even recognize that this has surfaced. Of course, I can't compete with Nook's sense of humor, his laissez-faire attitude and general love of life and all things good. But this has made me pause and think of more 'fun' things I have to do to keep Sanvi bubbly and happy! It's a challenge because when it comes to discipline time, if I am the 'fun' person, she's never going to take me seriously - the art of single parenting balancing different demands on the see-saw of single parenting. I see this image of the see-saw at the park, running to both sides taking turns sitting on each side for a bit - yes, I've done this as a kid for fun when there's no one to play it, but I've been left to play both sides of it in the see-saw called LIFE!
I do have to say she came up to me hours later and told me she's sorry she said that and I am the best mom she's ever had (I like when she says that because she doesn't realize I am the only one she has - there's no multiple moms she's experienced to compare to!). But I get what she's trying to say - at her age, she's so sweet to come and reassure me!
WELCOME TO NOOK'S HEALTH BLOG - STATUS UPDATES
My name is Sangeetha and I am authoring this blog on behalf of my husband - Nook (to friends) a.k.a Babu (to family) to provide some level of communication in terms of updates on his difficult journey to our supportive family and friends who are as anxious as I am for him to completely heal, and be whole and healthy again! Thank you all for your prayers and words of support and encouragement.
Reading Now:
ReplyDeleteI was clearing out my old emails today when I came across your email about Babu Mavayya's last note. I started reading the blog post, and it brought back a lot of memories. I had just come to the US for my master's degree at the time, and I was starting my new life here. I didn't know what it was like to lose someone at that time.
Ten years later, I have two kids and a family. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose someone so close, and then have to raise two children on my own. I am so impressed by your strength and courage.
I hope that you will find comfort in the memories of Babu Mavayya. He was a wonderful person, and he will always be in our heart.