One year later.....

When one has a new born baby, the new parents keep track of the timeline first by the hours, the days, the weeks, then it goes to months, then years....I did the same thing with Nook after he passed away - I counted the hours, the days, the weeks, the months...it's always on my mind - I see the full moon and I know that's the monthly anniversary as per the Indian calendar - I would honor his monthly date on the English calendar date of the 5th, by doing whatever tradition demanded...cook something he enjoyed eating and make an offering....I kept marking the 5th and the 10th - the day of the cremation and the memorial - the first year death anniversary came - it was such a rush of mixed emotions - I kept myself busy with the Relay for Life to honor his special day when he left us - that kept me going. And now I feel bereft, I still feel a part of me is missing - a limb, an organ, a physical body part - it is said that amputees still feel the missing limb and feel sensations of the missing part - I feel the same....I know something is missing, I remember how it felt when it was there, I can feel it now when it is missing - I know what it is - but I have no control to bring it back. I must go on without that 'part'. And I will go on...the question is how can I do it? It's a journey - and to quote my sister - "this is just the beginning..."

Family and Friends - I am back to blogging as I feel so connected to this blog - this kept me going when we were in the ICU, maybe this can keep me going outside of the ICU too.