Friday, April 13, 2012

As we get into another weekend here in the ICU....

It's funny how the ICU gets so quiet over the weekends - I didn't think sickness waits for weekdays and takes a holiday on the weekend...but there are fewer people here - hopefully that's a good sign that people are getting better!!! I really hope sincerely for the sake of the patient and their loved ones everyone in the ICU gets better....I have been here 23 days in the hospital - of which 19 days in the ICU, and I saw 4 people die - I see 20-30 family members gather in the lobby - I see people constantly crying - I try not to turn my head left or right when I walk down the corridor - I just walk straight ahead because if I do see them - and they don't make it - I can't get them out of my mind...especially the young beautiful lady with 2 little kids who has head, nose, throat cancer and in talking to the family they decided to stop her suffering and pain.

NOOK IS NOT GOING TO BE A STATISTIC - WE ARE GOING TO WALK OUT OF THAT ICU TOGETHER PROUD WITH OUR HEADS HIGH, NOOK BEING VICTORIOUS AND DEFEAT ALL THE FORCES AGAINST HIM.

The reason I am sharing this is not to make you more depressed but to ask you to take 10 minutes and introspect and see where your mind blocks in life are - work on it, don't build up the resentment - and most importantly - time is precious - spend it with your family with love, joy and gratitude that you have good health. It's impossible to ask people to stop bickering, arguing or gossiping, but do that for 5 minutes and move on - forgive easily, don't hold grudges and give the other person the benefit of doubt. As long as you have a loved one around you - express it and see the walls of defense crumble. No - I didn't turn into Plato or Socrates all of a sudden - but it's amazing how much strength I got from the support of all my family and friends standing behind me...I have my days of doubt and despair wishing it was different - but Nook and I have been dealt the cards, we play it, and move onto the next game....speaking of which Nook always wins at any of those card games he plays - so I am sure he will be a winner on this game too! "Disease" is the loser for this round!

5 comments:

  1. You just made me cry! This is what I wrote last week feeling exactly what u r feeling...

    जिंदगी क्या है ?

    बस कुछ दिन, कुछ रातें
    पल से पल की कुछ गांठें
    बना जाते हैं कुछ किस्से
    बस थोडे से ही आते हिस्से !

    कुछ इंतज़ार कराते
    कुछ बिन बुलाए चले आते
    कहाँ से आते, कहाँ चले जाते
    बिन खब्बर कहीं खो जाते !

    कुछ भूल जाते, कुछ भुलाए जाते
    कुछ सकूं देते, कुछ सताए जाते
    कुछ यादें बनाए, कुछ मिटाए जाते
    कुछ बीत जाते, कुछ बिताए जाते !

    कुछ ख़ुशी, कुछ ग़म में मिट जाते
    कुछ अपने साथ, कुछ दूसरों में बट जात
    न क़ाबू आते, न रुकते
    किसी के आगे नहीं झुकते !

    जितने भी मिलें , जैसे भी मिलें
    जो भी मिले, जहां भी मिले
    इस एकपल में डाल दो अपनी जाँ
    एक पल ही तो है, जिसका कोइ नहीं इमाँ !

    OR (if u cant read hindi but understand the words)

    Zindagi kya hai?

    bus kuch din, kuch raate
    pal se pal ki kuch gaanthe
    bana jate hai kuch kissey
    bus thode se hi aate hissey!

    kuch intezaar karate
    kuch bin bulaye chale aate
    kahan se aate, kahan ko jate
    bin khabar kahi kho jate!

    kuch bhool jate, kuch bhoolay jate
    kuch sakoon dete, kuch sataye jate
    kuch yaadein banye, kuch mitaye jate
    kuch beet jate, kuch bitaye jate!

    kuch khushi, kuch gum mein mit jate
    kuch apne saath, kuch doosron mein but jate
    na kaaboo aate, no rukte
    kisi ke aage nahin jhukte!

    jitne bhi mile, jaise bhi mile
    jo bhi mile, jahan bhi mile
    iss ek pal mein daal do apni jaan
    ek pal hi to hai jiska koi nahin imaan!


    Aditi

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    1. Aditi,

      This poem is lost as a comment - I am giving it it's own post and a page!

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  2. Sangeetha - beautiful writing!

    Nook will not be a Statistic - he has been dealt the cards, but we will will win (one hand at a time)!

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    Replies
    1. Ha - so many typos - only read it later and realized it! Just can't type with gloves and the ipad! Everyday when I wear those gloves, I wonder how surgeons actually perform such delicate operations with such dexterity standing for hours on end when those gloves are not even form-fitting and so inconvenient! I wonder if each surgeon has custom-made surgical gloves?! But they have to be disposable!

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  3. You have a wonderful spirit and attitude towards life Sangeetha and so does Nook!! You both will always be winners! And yes by god walk outta there with full life..we will silently continue our affirmations and prayers for him! You keep on your fight, we are behind you!

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